moving stillness
this afternoon, i was on the back of a truck going around town with the last of our tables, fax machines and photocopiers, waving and smiling broadly at whoever would accept the gesture of humanity i offered. only one person smiled back. if you happened to be driving around escario and saw someone with a native hat and green shades waving at you, and you didn't wave back, shame on you. the world would be a happier place if only we waved to people and waved back at strangers.
it's 1 a.m. and i'm still at brown cup wi-fi-ing, and though we've finally moved to our new office (where i still claim my status as semi-bum), i have yet to find a new house. walked around again this afternoon looking for a room or apartment for rent. and in the haze of hunger and dehyration, i wondered if i even HAVE to find a place to rent. i could just bring all my stuff to davao, after all, and stay there. haven't even begun packing, and i need to move out by may 3rd.
and my crazy father wants me to go back to ormoc this weekend so we can take the bus to davao from there. weird.
before we left our empty office, i sang cry me a river to the empty room, and said goodbye to the gay, gray cat.
everyone's moving somewhere, including me.
but here's something pablo neruda told me while i was cleaning out the shelves at the office:
If we were not so single-minded
About keeping our lives moving,
And for once do nothing,
Perhaps a huge silence
Might interrupt this sadness
Of never understanding ourselves
And of threatening ourselves with death.
yesyesyes
ReplyDelete(which poem is this?)
now my turn to sigh
yesyesyes
ReplyDeletewhich poem is this?
now my turn to sigh...
* "And for once do nothing,
ReplyDeletePerhaps a huge silence
Might interrupt this sadness" *
yesyesyes
which poem is this?
now my turn to sigh...
and i thought i'd catch you at Kahayag reading poems
ReplyDeleteKEEPING QUIET
ReplyDeleteFrom Pablo Neruda, Extravagaria,translated by Alastair Reid (Farrar, Straus & Giroux, USA, 2001)
thanks!
ReplyDeletethe world would be a happier place if only we waved to people and waved back at strangers.
ReplyDeleteagree. *waves and smiles back*
poignant, even to one who feels lost.
ReplyDelete"when will i find again the true wordlessness that will birth the words i've lost?"
ReplyDeletewhen the heart is quiet listening to the moving stillness
when the moving stillness quiets the heart
when the heart is quiet
when the stillness moves
when the moving heart quiets the stillness.
"when will i find again the true wordlessness that will birth the words i've lost?"
ReplyDeletewhen the heart is quiet listening to the moving stillness
when the moving stillness quiets the heart
when the heart is quiet
when the stillness moves
when the moving heart quiets the stillness.
Four years ago, my cardiologist told me that I am blessed with heart enlargement... because 'my heart was quietly listening to the deafening moving stillness'. By the way, this has nothing do or no way to connect Jeneen's lines. Nalibog na sad ko, dinhi na la ng ko kutob....
ReplyDeletehi jeneen, there's a crib in sunset drive, lahug (near UPCC)
ReplyDelete..just in case the room is still vacant, not sure though. it was rather cramp but newly painted, with a window (not secret window) that looks out to a dead-end firewall, when i took a look many weeks back, hoping to get it. its priced at 2500 per month *all in. (light, water) laundry is sub-con but if the boarder would want to do it, it is also aok.
the house looked modest and the mid-class niegborhood was quiet. i fell in love with the quaint patio in the front yard and a secluded garden near the dining area of the owners(not sure if boarders are allowed entry to that)
you may check it at this number: 231.4531, look for bambong (the errand girl)
that was thursday night =) were you there?
ReplyDeletethanks =) will check it out. actually was in the area almost five years ago looking for a place, too. i'm getting to be a veteran at this. i was telling a friend i should do a documentary on boarding houses in cebu, and how they change over the years, since i've had so much experience in just 6 years =P
ReplyDeletethanks =) you're the second.
ReplyDeleteyou're much more grounded and still when you move Jeen... at least, that's how I know you. that's why you'll survive anywhere... I am sure, though, that there is a Davao for you somewhere, somehow, sometime later... ayuayo sa imong mga biyahe!
ReplyDelete