tasting words with a different tongue
and so, as i was falling asleep Saturday night, the words started tumbling out for the two poems. actually, i don’t think i could’ve written them any other way, as i would’ve been too afraid to start. since i had two half-poems when i woke up the next day, i had enough courage to push on and finish them Sunday night (had to keep them out of my mind during Sunday school and church, otherwise i wouldn’t have been able to do anything else), revising them by Monday lunch time, ready for reading on Wednesday evening.
i wrote these directly in cebuano, thought them out with the part of me that’s become cebuano, because the sensibility of each language is different, and to have written them first (even in my head) in english or filipino, as i was tempted to do, and then translated them in cebuano, would have resulted in something very different.
of course, i got by with a little help from my friends: orly, who helped me think through the words even though i was madly revising my poem during his birthday dinner, oblivious to everyone else;
trying to find the words with their help was similar to working with vince when he had to translate my poems directly into dance (without music) for the WILA anniv last september. (unfortunately the journal entry i wrote on that got erased before i was able to post it =P). so anyway, we were talking about the movement and feeling and shade of each word, discarding the ones that lacked the particular height i needed, or the particular depth, or color, or lightness. these are the things, the nuances, that make one word different from another, though several words may translate to just one word in another language.
the only other time i’ve written poetry in a language other than english was in college, back when i still wrote letters and sent them through regular mail. and this one was truly inspired, given to me whole without need for revision, as i was sealing an envelope for mailing:
Sagot Ko Sa
Tumatamis ang lasa
ng sobre sa dila ko
kapag iniisip
ang mga daliri mong
magbubukas nito.
this was published, but a friend discouraged me on the next one, so i stopped. the process of writing in another language is something like learning how to sing. the sound was in my head, some of the words were already there, too; the problem was hearing them out loud in public, hearing them from out of MY mouth, and dreading what everyone would think of them, of me. it’s like putting a new label on myself that other people might find strange and pretentious.
but poetry is just who i am. i don’t write to get published or admired or get crazy reactions. i write because i need to. and so, here they are. feedback is appreciated, because if i don’t get any, i think i’ve already said all i need to say in cebuano =P
PS one of the poems was inspired by the photo here, from my oslob photo album. do check out my sumilon albums, too, through the tags. sorry, i haven’t come up with a good english or filipino translation yet.
DISCLAIMER: Any resemblance to places, events, or persons, living or dead, fictional or otherwise, is purely imaginary, and fully intended by the author ;-)
Paggikan sa Sumilon
Gusto unta ko mosuwat og balak
bahin sa dagat, para nimo,
bahin sa tanan nakong nakat-onan
sa pagsawom niining kaladmon:
ang paglutaw dinhi sa bug-at nga tubig
nga nagsangga ning maong isla,
ang pagsagol sa parat ug tam-is
sa tumoy sa akong dila,
ang pagsagubang sa init sa akong panit
samtang ang kabugnaw nibukot
sa akong kaunuran.
Pero ang dagat linaw man karon,
nisanap sa kawanangan,
tin-aw ang kinailadman, sama sa papel
nga nahanawan og mga pulong.
Ug ang tubig nga nagdagayday
sa akong ngabil, wala na’y parat,
naughan sa hangin, nahilom.
Alas Otso sa Gabii, Samtang Gahulat
Og Bus Sa Karenderya sa Oslob
Ang pundir nga suga nagpintal
og kangitngit sa dalag nga bungbong.
Wala na’y langaw, pero ang mga kaldero
naglinya lang gihapon, gitakluban.
Wala na’y abog gikan sa dalan
kay wala na kaayo’y sakyanan.
Nanirado na ang tanan.
Pero ako naglingkod gihapon
sa kilid sa pultahan,
naminaw sa imong ginhawa,
niingon, aron mapusgay ang kahilom,
“Lawom na ang kagabhi-on,
nganong wala pa man ang bulan?”
Sa kadugay natong
paglingkod-lingkod dinhi
karon pa nako nasabtan--
maski mawagtang pa
ang tanang Ceres ug Sunrays
ug mapugos kang mopuyo na lang,
wala’y pulos ning mga gabii
kay dugay na kang nibiya.
nindota ani neen uy!!!!
ReplyDeletehi jeneen. i like sagot mo sa sulat ko. very sensual. i've never really thought of licking the envelope that way. but yes. before i used to write handwritten letters to my friends and i have like a huge box of letters written in the mid 90's. so thanks for reminding me of a past hobby. i miss writing on stationeries. take care.
ReplyDeletethanks, darwin =) i've stopped writing real letters, too. i feel bad about that. i even used to write letters to my best friend across the classroom in Grade 5. at least i still have my stationery collection from prep and high school =)
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