first day in dumaguete

so this is how it feels to live in a place where it feels like summer all the time--hot and humid. i never thought the heat could depress me this much, but here it is. it's definitely not hunger this time, even though my mind was swooning this morning when i went to the department to see if i could enroll already, because i hadn't eaten since i arrived from cebu early this morning. maybe it's depressing because i'm so near the sea and yet i have to walk around wearing normal clothes like a normal person sweating through the day.

 

after class this evening, i walked aimlessly by myself past the stores that were already closing, not really hungry for dinner, since i'd overcompensated for my morning hunger by eating two cheesebreads and a bottle of soymilk plus nova right before class. not even on my first night away from home, in college in manila, have i felt homesick. not like this. must be the heat. and the tiredness from all the traveling since thursday.

my first day in school and already i've missed one class. the head teachers all told me not to enroll yet, supposedly because MS classes don't start till next week. while we were talking, i discovered that class had already started next door. when i finally got to go to a real class this evening (still not enrolled, waiting for a teaching fellowship to waive my tuition and fees), the teacher advised me to take up Environmental Science instead of Marine Biology. it shows in my thesis ideas, she said.

earlier, at lunch, i unexpectedly saw a friend through the window of a classroom, so i finally talked to someone familiar, though she's really more of an acquaintance than a friend since we haven't spoken more than a few sentences since i first met her two years ago. she said she used to be in the MS Marine Biology program, but quit because she didn't like the way they ran the program. and she had one of the best teachers, too. good luck, she told me.

am i a fool for following my heart? that's what these marine biologists are telling me. even my head tells me i am. i don't think i know what i've gotten into.

it's my second visit to the internet cafe today. need to escape the heat and humidity. tomorrow, hopefully, will feel more like the adventure i've been looking forward to. one thing i can say for sure, God has many ways to make me depend on him more and more.

can't wait for the rain.